Sneaky Ovulator

So, we missed the window this last time, no big deal, I thought. Well, the first two days after getting the news I told myself that this was to be expected, that realistically this could take up to a year, at least. However, the days that followed surprised me. I was definitely in a funk. Perhaps, because things finally got real.  Once you take the leap, the excitement builds and you allow yourself to get a little hopeful, a little higher if you will. But as you know, the higher you get the further you have to fall. I wonder how one maintains emotional sanity through all the ups and downs. I am sure most people will say by leaning on your friends and family, but I am not very good at asking for help, so those few low days were pretty rough. Granted, my disappointment was nothing compared to miscarrying or losing a loved one but the emotions that came up for me were definitely in line with the 5 stages of grief. I actually kind of just stuck with three: anger, depression and acceptance. Anger at my ex for taking away precious time, Depression out of fear that it won't happen, and Acceptance because that is what I do best. You wouldn't think that Acceptance could be a character fault, but in my case, it can be. I am a little too good at accepting people and situations for what and who they are. But that is a story for another time.  So, I finally snapped out of it and got my ass out of bed. "TAKE 2" is now in the works. I went in for another ultrasound the other day and Nurse Kelly said everything looks great. I have a nice clean slate and we should be ready to try again next Tuesday. I also just started taking a hormone that stimulates ovulation and so far I haven't had any side effects. I am not behaving any crazier than usual anyway. I am hopeful that this works sooner rather than later for many reasons. One in particular is related to my travel schedule. As many of you know, I travel on the weekends and these next few months are especially busy. I am gone every weekend, in fact. So I am not sure if I will even be in town for the "right time". But I plan to deal with that when the time comes. Stay tuned for further musings.